The Two Headed Beast, Wealth and Power, supporting a club fashioned from an old ignorance tree, dressed in armour of steely glints and impassable glass ceilings, strode out across the lands in confidence that its hegemony would remain forever unchallenged. For as long as ever and a day it had ruled, swaying this way and that to avoid the potholes of people power, squashing uprisings and expressions of discontent like a whackamole master.
Legs fashioned of suppressed hopes and arms hung about with false badges of achievement, it stood in the centre, drinking the juices gathered from the dashing of broken aspiration against the wall of you cannot go there, from a gallon cask of oak lining simple.
Shielded by a wall of rich and powerful components, sticks in the mud and no you can’t have it. Give me that, it belongs to me, you are puny, I am strong, go away.
In the Blue corner, swathed in silks and satin, the small anomaly of democracy opened its eyes and took in the scenery. The baying crowd of overpaid dignitaries surrounded the fighting dojo wherein the battle must commence. Sitting upon a small stool with a towel over its ears, a large D for democracy embroidered into its stretchy fighting shorts which almost reach the ground, so small is its standing. Today the small animal of democracy took the form of a piglet fashioned in knitted wool, similar to the piglet in Winnie the Pooh but a bit more politically savvy and in part a fishes tail. Don’t forget to throw the salt.
Money changing hands, fight of the millennium, the big and powerful, all covered in musculature suits and looking mean, versus the small animal whose very being look vulnerable to a slight breeze or a set of heavy raindrops.
The referee, paid in full by the establishment, throws sand in the eyes of D and trips it up when coming forwards. Dressed in a black cloak with suited boots, the ref held up his claw to bring the contestants to the centre.
The Two Headed, from here in known as 2 and the small creature representing Democracy from here in known as D, made to the centre of the ring.
Now I want an unfair fight, said the ref, no holds barred, kicking and biting are encouraged. If it looks like D is gaining any kind of advantage, then we will change the rules to ensure an unlevel playing field. We may, for instance, pack the supreme court with our friends so that court decisions will go our way, we may change the boundaries of the voting areas to make it harder for D to win, we will sack all government employees and departments that D requires to function and that kind.
D will have to contest this fight with one paw behind, and he must always tell the truth. Whereas 2 may lie and deceive as much as he likes, promising all kinds of impossible dreams and benefits, which will of course be impossible to produce when in power has gone to their heads and they start hitting people and countries that they don’t like. 2 may stoke the fears and prejudices of the innocent until they burn with anger against some minority or other. D must tell it like it is, you only get the services that you pay for in your taxes, and the standard of living and GDP are difficult to improve in a world buffeted by the tariffs and wars of idiot despots.
If D lands any kind of blow, I as ref, will send in anonymous threatening forces to frighten the electorate and deport anyone that does not conform to the hidden rules of skin colour and cultural differences. We will allow the Two Headed Beast to rename all significant buildings into its own identity and geological names of seas, gulfs, mountain ranges and great rivers that have been established for hundreds of years to reflect in the glory.
The bell tolled.
Round 1, The general knowledge round, will be blind folded for those participants under 2 metres tall and the phone a friend helpline is only available to those with names beginning with 2.
Round 2, D is tied to a tree and rotten tomatoes are fired at with a cannon. The ringside faces, distorted in scorn, will laugh and throw insults in multiple dialects. D will undo the ropes with a flourish.
Round 3 The special subject round, D is declared unnecessary due to a recent declaration of war and all bets are off. Elections are all postponed until the incumbent powers decide otherwise.
Round 4, The knitted piglet of democracy has discovered its voice, a voice that had been wrestled in chains and left to sob quietly in a dungeon. D has taken the voice out into the light and dusted it off with a series of peaceful protests, waving witty placards in the face of power. Some of the audience are beginning to think that they have been taken for a ride by the Two Headed Beast, realizing that no riches have ever trickled down to them, and that the dream of universal opportunity is only available to the rich and powerful elites.
So, there it stood, a little creature all alone, made of millions of individuals all straining with the same intent to make the place as best they could, in buffet of and trying circumstance and standing up in solid against the mighty and the richest of the rich, the multinationals some way off or hidden underneath the skirts of voracious empires and the semblance of furry collars at the end of board room tables.
I, said the piglet, Represent the future and the greater good. The Two Headed Beast said, Grrrrrr, and swung its club, the piglet ducked and, using the techniques of eastern martial, destabilising the great unwieldy weight of power against itself, lay the Beast upon its back and ran into the cloud layer where it was.
The crowd went wild and questioned their allegiance and betting preferences.
