Well, your Undersea tale is a fine example, said the Sphinx sounding impressed, Can we included a third example of your exploits before we go our separate?
Indeed, said the Thread, I too must be on my way shortly. Thusly this must be my last example for now.
Line or curve, which is the universe based on? The only straight line is in Euclid’s head, began the Thread, obviously enjoying the notoriety.
This is the problem with which I caused, as humanity could not get a grip and grasp the implications.
The scenario painted in, I had been asked to represent the perfect exemplar of a Beeline in an early illustrated dictionary. I was of course delighted to oblige and took up a pose upon the podium, such that the artists could begin their designs. They ranged around their easels, and I shrugged off my robe.
I thought that I should just check that the curvature of the earth was being taken into account and enquired, innocently at first, not intending to cause friction, if my pose should curve ever so slightly, over a great distance to represent.
Unaware, I seemed to have generated a great debate by mistake. There were those who understood that if the Bee were to go in a perfect straight line, then it would eventually leave the planet and be lost in space. A view endorsed by the science faculty and the home economics department.
On the other, if the Beeline were made to follow the curvature of the earth, then it would perforce not be a classical Beeline at all. Either the definition would have to be changed, or the concept entirely scrapped.
All this in the assumption that all measurements were taken with reference to the centre of the earth of course. As, if say one was to take the sun as starting point, the Bee would end up travelling in a circuitous spiralised curve. Still, if the centre of the galaxy is taken as point zero, well then, all bets etc.
There were, inevitably, the habitual flat earth brigade who insisted that Bees only spoke Chinese, but they were thrown out of the gondola.
Having made the argument that, in fact, in the real world, all lines were complex curves and that it was nigh on impossible for a straight line to exist. There were those that proposed that concept ‘Beeline’ should be abolished and replaced by the ‘Bee Curve’. The trouble with this, someone pointed out, was that the curve would have to be defined, otherwise the bee would not get home any time soon. Also, the acronym BC (Bee Curve) was already spoken for and might cause infusion.
So, the Bee Curve (using the centre of the earth to describe said curve) was decided upon. Then, to make matters worse, it was mentioned that the earth is not a perfect sphere but an oblate spheroid, due to its spin, gravity and the malleable nature of its substance and so the Bee Curve would be a complex curve unless the Bee was flying exactly around the equator.
It was suggested that perhaps Bees should be prohibited from flying anywhere else but around the equator. This solution was rejected on the grounds of cruelty. Someone said that even Bees have the right to spatial determination.
At this point I had become weary. So, recovering my robe, I repaired to the green room for drinks and snacks.
Has anyone asked the Bees? I muttered into my lemonade, hoping that no one heard and started a new facet of the debate.
They went back to see Euclid, who hadn’t mention Bees in his initial treatise, and asked him how the conceptual world of geometric geometry could be married, even incorporated into the real?
He reminded them that the Beeline is a concept and not a real, so that it should join the panoply of geometric terms and be extracted from examples of Bee flight which bore no relation.
When asked if Bees had rights, he went off in a self-driving huff with four wheels.
On my return to the studio, I had to intervene between the scientists and the artists who had decided that the argument should be decided by a series of physical competitions.
The artist were trying to get chequers included, arguing that it was a physical sport because one had to physically move pieces around the board. The Scientists had argued that any contest that could be played out on a computer screen must be excluded.
Eventually, after much hot air and recrimination, it was decided that the head scientist would take on the head artist at darts. The winner (the player who scored highest with three darts) would be given authority to define the Beeline as they chose.
The scientist won, scoring a triple twenty, a one and a three and set to writing the new definition.
A Beeline has no thickness nor depth, only length, and is measured between the last flower visited, when its legs are all thick with pollen and flying starts to get a bit hairy, and the exact point that the Bee lands on the little ledge at the entrance to the hive.
Any deviations along the route, caused by breezes, cows, tall trees, picnics, motorway traffic, protest marches, street furniture, children playing, drystone walls, hills and valleys, dark forests, sailing ships, etc. should be ignored and the conceptual line or Beeline, drawn between those two points.
I shrugged off my robe once more and took up my pose in an exact straight line. The artists took up their rulers and began their part.
Intriguing, said the Sphinx, There is more to you than meets the eye.
Aye, said the Blue Knight.
No, said the Sphinx, I said eye.
I was agreeing, said the Blue Knight.
The Guardians of the Cave 