An Ill Wind

How does it know? The cracks are so small. How does it get down your neck so readily?

Blows nobody Any Good, I’ve heard.

Good, Bad, broad brushstrokes then. Who decides what is Good and what is Bad, whose perspective are we taking today. The greater good, good for me might not be so good for all of us. If we are talking Greater Good, does anything go? I hope not, there have to be limits, red lines in the sand, in the length of the leash. If I’ve taken all the best bits, then the Greater won’t get any.

Reset

Blow me some Good then, go on, blow me some good times, some good intentions, some good vibes. Good time Charlie, another drink, more dessert? Blow me a holiday, new socks, a pass mark, a shinier car, a smoother ride. No, none of that, let us interrogate the good that is blown.

Good as a quality, a sliding scale, a general direction or a moral imperative. Improvement or just good maintenance. Is it acceptable to hold the world in your heart and cherish the good, cultivate your garden? Hope for expanding ripples? Don’t even mention Good Luck, that’s a whole different kettle.

Reset

Blow me some Bad then, go on, blow me some misery, some unkind words, a spilt drink, a bad break. Blow me down, lose the plot, muddy the waters. Take what is mine, threaten the status quo. Always one foot on the ground.

Bad as a quality, a rotten apple, a blown tyre, a snake in the grass. Sloppy software, holey socks, wormy furniture. Show me Bad as in cool, wicked, stylish. No, good as in untrustworthy, conniving, sneaky.

Upset

The Ill Wind was not feeling it at all that morning. With a sore throat and slightly nauseous sensation in its gusts. An aching back, sore shins and tunnel vision. I can see tunnels everywhere, under the bed, under the trees, under the mountain, just everywhere. Where do they all go?

I am not well enough to blow today, I shall lie on the couch with a blanket covering and a hot drink. I feel week and feeble, maybe I’ll watch some daytime telly. If I don’t get better soon, I’ll have to visit the wind doctor for a medicament. I think a pick me up is called for, a swift brandy or some anti probiotics. I think I might have caught something when the grandchildren visited, my immune system is not what it was. I hope it’s not the beginning of something serious, I have trees to uproot. Mop my brow will you and bring me grapes, a card with Get Well Soon writ upon. Do my shopping and bring me a cooked meal. Are you feeling any better today? I’m so sorry to hear you’re under the weather.

Under the weather! Are you kidding me, I am the weather! I feel a lot better all of a sudden, hand me that walking stick, I’m going out to cause havoc. A hurricane, a tornado, a gale, they’ll never see me coming, they won’t know what’s hit them, A gust, a buffet, a chilly draught. Ha!

The Blue Knight came to visit the Ill wind with the intention of begging for help with his Quest of Kindness dispersal.

Are you joking, said the Ill wind, go away, I’m feeling queasy. I only disperse No Good, it’s a proverbial thing, its what I do. I can’t just swivel one eighty without consequences, you ask too much.

I’m sorry I mentioned it now, said the Blue Knight and he shrugged.