The Road of Self Doubt

The Blue Knight, soon enough, came to a roadish path thing.

Should I go down this road and how shall I? Thought the BK, the very name is unnerving, I will have to do better than this to make my way.

The road looked all wobbly, like through watery glass or extreme heat haze. Just a lazy winding track in the sand disappearing. Splitting and rejoining in a dizzy confusion of paths. Designed to sow directional doubt.

The BK put his best foot forwards and wondered if he was doing the right thing. His right toes splashed in a puddle of Uncertainty, while his left foot stubbed on a pebble of Indecision.

Ouch, he said, There must be a trick or method in this road travel. Perhaps a bicycle or a scooter, what if I cannot find one?

He sat by the roadside to consider. I cannot travel this without clearing my thoughts and corralling my certainty to protect from this onslaught of doubting.

Am I sure? Let me count the ways, I am certain, I am reasonably sure, it could go either way, maybe, I don’t expect so, highly unlikely, certainly not.

Well, that’s not working, thought the BK, I shall wait at this Bus Stop.

Moving to the bus shelter, with poster adverts for hair gin and herbal tonic, he read careful the legend behind the glass on its pillar, with a map of a road in several parts.

It read:

The first, last and only bus, leaving the Bus station at dawn, stopping at Northern Doubt, Middle Doubt (near the cross roads) and Southern Doubt, Doubtful Centre, Doubt Street, Avenue of Doubt, the Unsure Shopping Centre. It may stop at the Unknown Petrol Station (but I doubt it), and finally terminating at the River of Doubt, after passing the Last Inn of Warm Beer, never coming back, so don’t miss it.

A large pig was walking along the road followed by several piglets. A lost or worried rabbit skittered by.

Are you sure? asked the BK, Of course, said the Pig. Can I follow you? said the BK. I don’t know, can you? Said the Pig.

The Pig and piglets wandered down, up and across the pathways with the Blue Knight follow a bit, back and forth. Then The Pig sat down by a Bus Stop with a sign, Avenue of Doubt.

How did we get here? asked the Blue Knight. I don’t know, said the Pig, I was going the other way.

Soon a bus appeared, covered in dust with a cracked windscreen. It sighed to a wheezing stop at the shelter. The Blue Knight joined the queue and, after a little wait for the other passengers, climbed the metal steps to be confronted by the driver.

Where to? Said the driver. The Last Inn of Warm Beer please, said the BK. The driver punched several cylindrical buttons on the complex machine riveted to the small platform near his left hand. A pink ticket strip shot out and the driver caught it before it could fly away. He proffered it to the BK, that will be eighty-four euros. The BK fished in his pocket and found a hundred dollar bill, will that suffice? I doubt it, said the driver, fumbling out twenty shillings change. No standing on the upper deck, said the driver as the bus ground into gear. There is no upper deck, said the BK. Exactly, said the driver, so sit down and shut up.

The BK took a seat near the back where the piglets had colonised the long back seat and were running up and down.

The bus barrelled along, raising an enormous cloud of dust. The road ahead was completely invisible except for the occasional Bus Stop sign flashing by.

Does the Bus not stop at the Bus stops? The Blue Knight asked the Pig. No, said the Pig, those are Quest Stops. If you get out there you have to fight a dragon, or save a maiden, or chase off an ogre, or search for magic cup or something. It’s a bit of a lottery to be honest.

A digital screen, at the front of the bus, said which stop was coming next and then you must ring the bell. Who has the bell? The Blue Knight asked the Pig. How should I know said the Pig, I don’t want to get off until I arrive. The Pig went back to piglet herding on the back seat. As soon as she got half the piglets sitting still the other half started bouncing and doing somersaults.

On the digital screen the words, If you should be so foolish as to want to get off at the Last Inn of Warm Beer, get ready, its coming up, scrolled passed from right to left. You can find the bell under the driver’s seat, it continued.

The BK hastily retrieved a massive hand bell from under the driver and started to ring it wildly.

Not yet! shouted the driver, I’ll tell you when. Now! He shouted, swerving the bus in a tight curve.

The piglets were all thrown to one side of the backseat in a heap. The BK, swinging the handbell round his head, was thrown out of the bus door onto the sandy roadside. As he looked up, the bus was barrelling off in its dust cloud. The last vision that the BK had of the Bus was of the piglets waving from the back window of the bus with their snouts pressed against the glass.

Nearby, was a large timber building with a horse parking rail out front of a boarded porch and a pair of swing doors. A big sign over the door proclaimed proudly, WARM BEER SOLD HERE.