The Holey Hat

The Blue Knights (Woman and Man) settled their Baby Knight (Baby) with its Grand Parent Knights, then set in a Nor Nor Nor Nor Easterly direction, as was their designation and slice of the compass.

One hundred days passed straight along, at least time enough, till they rested their horses to make good their pavilion against a cliff of thorns. Ferns like fish leaping. Overhanging branches, some. In the forest with the wood.

In the night or, as the sun made its play to appear above the horizontal horizon, there appeared a man set seated upon a cart filled to the brim with hats. Brimming with hats. Turbans, flat caps, straw hats to keep the sun, fascinators that were boring, helmets, hard hats, tough hats, soft hats, cowboy hats, cowgirl hats, cow hats.

Bring out your Hats! Bring out your Hats, Hats with holes or broken straps,

Bring out your Hats, be they pink or blue or embroidered with cats,

Bring out your Hats, the man called, although there was no one there. His voice entered and was lost between the trees.

The Blue Knights (Woman and Man) were brought out, their tent flaps pushed back and secured, the horses took no note, covered in dew.

Excuse me kind sir, why have you come a hat collecting this early and dewy morn. Is not a broke hat an object of very little value, inquired The Blue Knight whilst The Blue Woman Knight considered her weaponry.

Well thereby hangs your hat, said the man, These days hats are mass produced in sweaty shops far away. By workers, poor from the feet up. Paid in the wages of a small amount at all. We richer folks snap up said hats, use them once and throw them in the ring. How can we save the planet when our Haticulture has such an horrible carbon head print? Also, one day might the Holy Hat come.

What is your handle? asked the Blue Knight friendly.

I am Pernil.

Well, Pernil, you appear the owner of many holey hats, I can see that your impulse is honourable but I do question your factuals, in an amiable and discursive mode.

The Holy Hat Perilous is a different kettle entire, said Pernil, It was used by the holiest and most spirity person ever to keep the sun off and it became, over time, special powers or properties. It is known to have invented the abacus.

That then would be a hat and a half and a hat, or two and a half hats if you will. Can we aid you in your quest in any fashion?

That you may, I have it on good author that said Hat is stuck up in a tree yonder. Might you lend me your sturdy shoulders to stand upon, that I may reach it up? But we must take extreme, this hat has proved lethal of a thousand souls who just wanted to keep their heads protected and tried it on without. Only a person of great ingenuity might apply for it.

Then did Pernil approach. The Holy hat was high upon a branch. Pernil stoon on the Blue Woman Knights shoulder and the Blue Knight lifted them up.

I shall prepare to capture it with this oven glove which I prepared earlier, then it cannot burn the swirling fingerprints off my fingers with its radiating and luminous spirituality.

The oven glove spluttered and smoked, now the hat was cast down.

See we have found, its powers shall be in control, said Pernil flowing with joy.

Shall I smite it? said the Blue Woman Knight in quiet, It looks shifty to me.

Not yet my love, cautioned the Blue Knight (Man), let us reveal what this shifty Hat might signify.

She put aside her sword slowly, all the while keeping both eyes thereon.