The Sticky Lie Factory was situated in a very pale building conjured in a palatial villa style, with black windows and pillars of white plaster, placed carefully in a green park.
This particular flavour of lies was very popular with children, sugar addicts and professionals. The ingredients and recipe, kept secret all these years by a jealous management company based in Connecticut, consisted in large part of statistics marinated in a sugar syrup and then distorted using a bendy mirror, accompanied by many words jumbled up in pastry.
The Mature Sticky Lies were stored in receptacles which had been washed in an annoying vinegar for two years to clean the glass, and more recently plastimised in chlorine to add flavour. These were stacked in boxes by the white wall.
The Raw Lies, before they became sticky and irresistible, were grown in rows, watched over by serious folk with big hats. At harvest time the traditional was following.
First collect a small donkey from the donkey rental service and then wander through the mono cultural plantations until you find a ripe one. Give it to the donkey. Wander some more until your donkey’s backpack is full, making sure that the load is not chaffing the back part of your companion. Returning to the sterilised kitchen preparation zone, split the fruits between the green and red, de core them and store the seeds for later. Laying the seeds out on a cloth in the sunshine at this point will save time, as they will eventually have to be pulverised with a pulver.
Place the remnants in the great sticky pot and add hot water and three spoons of palm sugar, stir vigorously. Place the pot in front of the television or radio receiver, making sure that the political channels are audible. Marinade in untruths for as long as it takes, weed out any truths that have got in by mistake and cover with a flag till Wednesday.
When the Donkey had taken full charge of the white pavilion, it proceeded to build castles with sand made concrete by the jars of sticky lies collected. First and foremost, planning permission was sought, and when it was denied, the authorities were fired and swept unceremoniously under the great carpet which was kept nearby at all times.
The wild seawaters languished in the trenches of low tide, looking innocent and as if butter wouldn’t melt. Donkey, puffed up with self-belief, commanded the waters to remain low and never darken any doorsteps.
Then, with a bucket of sand on one side and a bucket of sticky lies to the other, the Donkey started to build the Sandcastle. Four corners and four turrets, one turret a bit broken where the sand had failed to reach the full extent of the mould and a flag on top. All very satisfactory.
The various populations who had raised the Donkey up in lieu of a bona fide leader, cheered and cheered, impressed by every move and utterance, no mater how bereft of sense or sensibility. The Donkey, in the absence of anyone who might speak truth to power, spouted sentences which had words in them but very little or no meaning.
Much later, after the wars had mostly ceased, it was discovered that, not only had he built the Sandcastle with Sticky Lies but that Sticky Lies was the main ingredients of his speech pattern! Who knew, well we all knew.
As the Donkey sat in a Deck chair or played golf on the roof of his sand castle, he noticed that the seas were rising and threatening the real estate value of his portfolio.
Stop right there, He cried, I am the Biggest Donkey ever and you will do what I say or all hell will let loose and the sea will be banned.
But the all-powerful sea was not listening and simply rose in its normal fashion and washed over the hooves of the donkey on its way to the foundations of the Sandcastle.
The Donkey convened a meeting of the great chiefs and told them to drop the biggest bomb ever on the sea to make it stop. The Chiefs were frightened of the Donkey and so they said OK and then went home and covered their ears.
A great bomb was dropped on the sea and the ensuing wave washed away the Sandcastle leaving the Donkey with one pair of underpants and a golf club.
The Guardians of the Cave 