Setting course at 24 degrees to the elliptic, veering towards planet exoskeletons which looked promising, nice sandy beaches and several navigable river fronts, the good Ship Jelly entered inner space.
The Captain slog book, scattering words like dodgy doodles across the pager, reading;
Today we waved goodbye for the last time, as the Earth faded into. We have left the orbits pristine and now they must take care of their own. The good ship Jelly Fish is fully charged. One minor hiccup, we found a certain stowaway in the luggage rack. She calls herself she Sphinx, and manifests in the shape of a lion with the head of a woman with a ceremonial beard, although her paws are not always soft and comfortable. I asked her what she might bring to our party, and she said that she speaks Starglish, which is apparently the galactic standard language, so she may come in handy after all.
We are on course and should arrive in time for a cold supper and an early bath.
When the landing was achieved, the landing craft, modelled on, and named the Spider Crab, wandered about. The planet appeared paved with gold, in great slabs laid out. Soon there came in view a small half-finished castle, leaning perilous to one side, Oliver slant. On some low scaffolding, a man in purple robes all covered in cement and paint splatters, a safety crown upon his.
Captain and she Sphinx approached,
Ah, some subjects at last, said the man putting down his trowel, I have been waiting for someone to rule. Would you like to bow to me and give me your gifts?
I am the Sphinx; and this is the Captain, good day to you, said Sphinx in Starglish, the Captin was surprised to discover that she could clearly see the words of Starglish floating unmasked. We have a long way to discover you, where are your population? Continued she Sphinx.
You are my population, said the Crowned man. There was a boy once, but he refused to acknowledge my regality, is that the word? I ordered him to leave with immediate effect. Anyway, now that you are here, we can get to some rulings. First ruling, always refer to me as your majesty. Second ruling, finish off my palace whilst I have a bath and languish in perfumed towels until you have provided a banquet for my delight, which I may or may not decide to enjoy. Carry on.
With that pronounce, he turned to exit.
I’m afraid you have made orders of the wrong Sphinx, said she Sphinx, displaying her claws unsheathed. I am fabricated in the heavy elements of seven consecutive super novas and the Captain here can understand everything all at once due to her multivision, so don’t stand there and order us about or they may be consequences.
Tell us wherefore this place is enpaved in golden slabs and why your ancestral pile is made of crumble.
Well, paused the Crowned one looking a bit deflated, I have made paving of gold to attract the poor and under privileged, as I have been led to understand that golden paving is their top desire. When they arrive, which they surely will, I shall order them to shore up my crumbling castle, so that I may rule over them in comfort and relative safety.
And what is the function of all these wooden props?
Why, they are propping up my establishment, Hierarchy Castle, donated by interested billionaires who have furnished my credentials.
The Captain, as always seeing the truth laid bare, said to she Sphinx, I think that we should leave this Kings planet before we are forced to break his rulings into many individual words.
Aye, aye Captain, said she Sphinx, and they departed without so much.
As the stars passed the portholes and The Captain and crew watched entranced, chewing daintily on perfectly cut sushi, she Sphinx asked,
Captain, if I might enquire, exactly what are we looking for?
I’ll know it when I see it, said the Captain, releasing seventeen eye facets to cover the Sphinx, Very few good things are simple.
The Guardians of the Cave 