In the velvet dressing room, surrounded by big mirrors, collections of makeup brushes covered the surfaces and racks of outlandish clothing barricaded the walls. Old horoscopes and heavenly maps littered the floor. The Stars collected after the applause had faded and the safety curtain, bouncing slightly at the last moment, had come down.
I think it went well tonight, said Vega, I felt quite sparkling.
A full house, and no coughing in the auditorium for a change, said Sirius, shrugging out of her shining costume and replacing with her day clothes of invisibility, And three curtain calls!
Just then a head poked around the dressing room door. Someone called Constance would like to have a word, said the stagehand, I wouldn’t have bothered you, but she is dressed in full armour and has a very impressive sword.
The door was pushed open further as Constance strode in and took off her helm.
Hello, she said, Sorry for the dramatic entrance, but I am in need of your eternal wisdom.
Our wisdom is eternal it is true, said Sirius, But it constitutes, in the main part, the secrets of navigational aids, sextants and methods old and new. Also, how to sail serenely through the infinite darkness, shining away like crazy.
I see that, often, said Constance, And yet, she continued, Since the human race put away its childish toys and looked up from its mashed carrot, it has acted like a spoilt brat with an endless supply of hand grenades. You Stars have looked down upon the world and whispered amongst yourselves since time and tide await. I would know what change and catalyst the Stars might encourage to bring the human race to maturity and common. Is it multicoloured, and do the moving parts need lubrication and if so, how often? Can it be transported in the boot brush of a caravan or should I hire a special vehicle.
Well, said Vega, Where to start? Firstly, learn to appreciate the unexpected, and navigate the modern landscape without running over strays.
I’m not quite sure, started Constance, but Vega was not finished.
Copy a cat, spread the word and don’t be a nuisance. Navigation by shiny metal sextant upon the deck of a leaky ship is essential. Aim for the star on the left, just above your raised finger. Encourage a magnet and twizzle the compass, it’s all great fun. Make your way across the vasty desert of sand or water by pedometer, intuition and thermostat. Hold a rope up to the light and count the knots. Follow an arrow on gimblemaps without a clue. Ask a passing, marry a sailor, befriend a Bedouin, sail along behind a Pacific islander or just follow the herd. Nobody ever knew how to use a sextant anyway, it’s all just a bluff.
A sextant you say, a quadrant would not suffice? I have limited coin on my contactless, interjected Constance. How will this improve the maturity ratio? She asked, And where are we to navigate to? An uninhabited paradise? A city of gold? The other side of the street? Should we not encourage staying at home and tending our own garden?
Well, said Sirius, It will, at least, give pause for and keep a lot of idol hands out of the devils business. They need a project, something to inspire. It doesn’t really matter what, anything to avoid the destructive outbursts. Why not harness the dark matter and come to visit us, it may or may not keep them out of trouble. If they act like spoilt children, treat them as such. Navigating the modern world is quite challenge enough, even in a garden, let it suffice.
I’m not entirely convinced said Constance, I shall quest further.
The Guardians of the Cave 