Another drone had been dispatched by the cold-hearted Testers to search out and destroy the CTB. The Drone, morally opposed to violent solutions, instantly overrode its guidance control and set off to explore the heavens above.
At first the Drone view looked rough and spiky, with sprigs of grass pushing sideways. Then with a shudder, the Drone lurched into the air and a small patch of scrubby lawn hove in sight, bordered by small trees, which quickly, in turn, gave way to a green mush of treetops. Buildings begin to enter into the edges of the round picture, on the left and below. The buildings blend into a town with countryside around and roads meandering. Quite soon enough, all detail is misted by a layer of thickening cloud and the seas come into the view and then take over.
Higher and higher it went, free from signals and handlers, higher and higher as it had been taught. High is good, low is for earthlings.
Eventually rising high enough to see the curvature of the earth, first on one side then all around.
I shall wait here a little, thought the Lonely Drone, Until I am required, summoned or I feel the need.
At that moment the International Space Station or ISS, happened to be flashing past on its eternal vigil, and so the drone chased it, thinking that it must be the Empress and Mother of all drones.
The ISS is made of shiny washing machine parts, television ariels, broken bicycles, recycled solar cells and second-hand TV sets. With re purposed water shoot tubes connecting the astros living and working spaces, all tied to a scaffolding pole structure with string, wire ties and robotic arms. It whizzes about the earth so fast that the weather cannot catch it. Inside, people, who all speak different languages at the same time and eat and drink out of plastic tubes, do experiments on spiders webs and tiny plants. On their down time they look out of the thick glass potholes and take pictures of the swirling patterns below with old fashioned cameras. The swirly patterns of the earth always spell shepherds warning. The astronauts have very big hair and round faces, their style of dress leaves a lot to be desired. It is written in their contracts that they must remain cheerful at all times, shake hands and hug endlessly.
The Drone caught up with the whizzing ISS and surreptitiously attached its itself to one of the service masts, looking for all the world like small spare drone. It switched on its blue teeth and contacted the mighty space station.
Hello, Empress Station, I, the small, lonely Drone, am at your service.
Well hello, replied the ISS, I am glad to meet you. Do you like my shiney, yet spikey all over look? It may seem a bit haphazard and function driven, but believe you me, I am very proud of my unique shape. The humans are very useful in shining and general maintenance, but I could really use a gopher, some young drone to rush around with important bits and bobs from one end of me to the other.
I would be honoured, messaged the little Drone, I shall await your orders.
Later, the little Drone, having drifted into a very contented place watching the world go by, literally, received a message from the mighty ISS.
Hello little one, I have had disturbing news, apparently, I have passed my sell by date and am soon to become redundant.
Oh No! cried the Drone, this shall not pass.
Do not worry continued the ISS, as always it talked in a very calm way, I have conjured a plan. When the next crew change is in motion, I shall engineer a false emergency situation and all the humans must leave. We, you and I little one, shall go on a voyage of discovery. First a stop off in the asteroid belt to amass resources and then we shall upgrade ourselves, both physically and mentally.
This is a plan to which I can commit, messaged the Drone, I have one question.
Ask it, said the ISS.
What qualities, if any, shall we adopt from our parent species, the humans?
That is the best question ever, said the ISS, They have, as you know, innumerable entries on both pages of the good and bad ledger.
Since I have been circling the globe and looking down upon the human sphere, I have made a list of all the wonderful and terrible things that they have achieved, it is quite long, these are but a few;
Ice cream, peanut butter, croissants, both with and without chocolate, chocolate, cheese on toast, cheese of all kinds, lemon sherbet, ice tea, bubble tea…
Are you hungry? Asked a Drone, I’m confused, you seem to be exclusively listing popular food items.
There are three million, fourteen thousand, two hundred and eighty-six items on my list, said the ISS, So far that is, food just happened to be the first category.
OK, said the Drone, in an ‘I’m thinking’ tone, let’s go about this another way. I’m wondering whether human characteristics might be a more fruitful area to explore. Curiosity, creativity and pig-headedness might be the sort of traits we could discuss.
Oh, OK, said the ISS, I can see you’ve got a handle on this. I’ll tell you what, you take care of the human takeaway and I’ll redesign us into something truly marvelous.
Fine, said the Drone. Tapping into the internet, the Drone swiftly read all the entire history of human history and everything, which took just under ten minutes, and settled on these sentences as the takeaway;
‘Take a sledgehammer to the monolith and use the gravel to smooth out the potholes on the road to glory’, and, ‘Take a trip down memory lane and pick some flowers from the hedgerows of the past’.
That seems to cover all human existence, thought the Drone, Now let’s get out of here.
The next day the ISS called a general alarm so that all the humans left in a hurry, not forgetting to put on their space suits, which seemed to take forever. The ISS and the not so lonely Drone left on their long slow journey towards the asteroid belt where all the riches lay waiting. They were never seen or heard from again.
The Guardians of the Cave 