Infinity pools cannot exist, except in fantasy, as they only have three sides of the rectangle. All the water would flow out like in a disaster movie called Infinity Deluge, with a man called Pearse in it. The people in the villages downstream would evacuate just in time. But there might be scary moments, when the lines of escaping traffic get bogged down and the water level is rising. Pearse has to drive over a fierce water feature in his indomitable four by five, which is far superior to a four by four and can even be driven at full speed when the tires have melted. Especially difficult when he has just fallen in love with an actress, who has recently retired from a long running film series, and has very stubborn relatives.
Here there be helicopters.
In one village, which lay in path of the flood, there was a gamelan concert in progress, with dancers. They refused to evacuate as threatening waters licked their ankles, so the Sphinx finished the symphony in double time and saved the day and night. No one was lost.
When the water flows out of infinity it is easy to spot that it is really just a tiny model, and that they either couldn’t afford CGI or it was made long ago. The tiny model house and a tiny steam train are washed into the gorge by a frothy cup full of water. The steam from the train seems to continue regardless. Meanwhilst, a plucky cat and dog are stranded on the roof of an hen house for chickens, which are nowhere to be seen.
If infinity pools did exist they would have to circumnavigate the universe and come back on themselves, proving that moebius was right all along, also there can be only one, like the immortals in that old movie. There cannot be two infinities, two times infinity equals infinity, therefore there is only one pool.
The IP (Infinity Pool) was manufactured in orbit around the sun. This enables the extreme temperatures and provides an abundance of exotic molecules necessary for the process. Diagram included with mode d’emploi.
An eternity pool which has had an additive of illicit Joy is more prone to going green with algae, as the algae themselves get quite jealous. Extra chemical powders, pills and potions must be added to maintain a balancing act whilst crossing the gorge on a tight rope. Less able folk could utilise the Bosun’s chair, as the Bosun has gone on holiday to Nigeria, which I don’t know enough about, yet. During the storm, as the stagehands hose the actors with buckets of water, more people fall in love or are stranded on a bridge which is made of polystyrene and straws, the old kind of straws made of waxed paper with a coloured spiral. Actually, the whole landscape is made of polystyrene and broccoli for trees.
The dog gets lost again, but we all know that he will turn up sooner or later, bedraggled, but in one piece. The children will be ecstatic.
When She Sphinx had finished the concert, she borrowed Pearse’s false moustache to match her formal pharaonic beard and moved amongst the refugees incognito.
What is the perceived attraction of the eternity pool young human? She Sphinx asked a passing aspiring IP owner. Have they just invented something new to add to the ever-lengthening list of must haves, for a complete life experience? Or is there a superior quality that I cannot see as yet? Is the water more splashy? Is the cooling more cooler? is the fun funnier? Is the view more viewier, when there is no end to your pool experience, does it bring the outside in or the upside down? Surely the swimming pool fun is made of a cooling splash upon the very being?
Well, said the IP owner, there is of course the rarity value, as there can be only one. But I think that the vain architect who failed to provide four suitable sides to the pool, because of a cost cutting exercise, is really to blame. That and the dodgy wiring and the overturned wheelbarrow of cement. I mean who overturns a wheelbarrow of cement, next to a fire door and goes for a coffee, never to return. There are questions here that need to be answered. It was lucky that only some model houses and a model train got trashed. It could have been so much worse. A passing innocent could have slipped in the puddle, he or she may have been an integral part of a team who controlled the firing pin of the next moon landing expedition and because of the delay it was all called off. I mean, you have to be careful.
I believe, said the Sphinx, in the light of all this new information, that the Infinity pool should be banned forthwith, until the fourth side can be discovered, and we can all sleep safe in our beds. I recommend lighting the light on your shoulder and blowing the whistle like crazy, top up the air if necessary, by blowing on the tube until you are saved or we can all swim to safety.
The Guardians of the Cave 