The Rift

They wander along the beach, looking up where clouds scud under rocky skies, wondering what a rift might appear.

A man is sitting on a three-legged stool by a fire, cooking mushrooms in a skillet.

Excuse me Sir, are you the Man they call Uncle, and do you know where we might find a Rift? We have need to cross the Undersea and access Central Station. Asks Vivainne, all polite, whilst eyeing the mushrooms.

I am not anyone’s Uncle, but I have seen an open Rift just down the coast here, I believe it may well be left over from the Old Testament Trials.

Ah, the Old Testament Trials, says Sphinx, I remember them like it was the day before yesterday, i.e. a bit of a blur.

Yes, continued the man, They once held Trials around here for all the miraculous events that went down in the Old Testament times. Holding back the sea to make a path through is a complex business, they had to do a lot of dry runs, excuse the pun, before Health and Safety would actually let people enter through a Rift up in the over world.  So, back in the day they used to come down here, do some practice runs, holding back the sea in a Rift.  There is a Rift which they forgot to close. Goes all the way across I believe. Never been through myself, I have enormous mushrooms to cook.

They also did plagues, but I don’t care to talk about that, nasty business. My favourite experiment was the ‘Let There Be Light’ fiasco. Didn’t get it right for ages, new fireworks display every night for weeks. The kids loved it. And then there was the flood, we all had to move to a higher plain with olive branches held in our beaks for that, lots of rain. Then there was Jones and the Whale, where this guy swallowed a whale, or was it the other way around, I can never remember. Of course, a big favourite around here, the Food falling out the Sky trials, called it Manna from Heaven. They tried all sorts, pizzas, baked potatoes, the lasagne trials were particularly messy. Eventually they decided dried fruit and nuts were the most efficient, although the loss rate was quite high. I’m still finding raisins in my hair to this day.

Would you like some mushrooms? These are a Paleoproterozoic variety, not found elsewhere, very toothsome.

I thought you would never ask, said Vivainne sitting down by the fire.

Not for me, said she Sphinx, I ate last century.

Latterly, Vivainne and Sphinx came to the opening of the Rift on the seashore, where two wobbly walls of water passed either side of a rough path going gently down into the distance through the Undersea. Every now and then you could glimpse a fish swim up to the invisible barrier and bump its nose, do fish have noses? and looking confused. Tall weeds waved in the water on either side, like animated wallpaper.

Is it safe do you suppose? asked Vivainne.

It is for me, said the Sphinx and I will keep you safe if the wobbly water walls go south.

Let’s go then, said Vivainne, Central Station awaits. We only have 24hours to save the Earth! Not really, but I’ve always wanted to say that.

They travelled a day and some night, sleeping in the cabins of wrecked ships where the water was not.

Sphinx poked the water wall with the bone of a whale.

Stop it, said Vivainne, don’t tempt fate, you may be written in stone, but I am a mere human that have a beginning and an end, I do not want to meet it today.

Sorry, said Sphinx, I was marvelling at the ingenuity, if we could market this tech, we would be rich beyond our wildest.

Let’s tackle that one on the return, said Vivainne, we have bigger fish to fry.

They traveled six days, then another two. On the tenth of August they arrived a seashore upon which a concrete bunker with Central Station emblazoned was sat nestled into the rock face of a massive cliff. Under written, Authorized Personnel Only Beyond This Point.

Damn it, said Sphinx, we’ll have to go back and get a permit.

Not so fast, said Vivainne, coming over all devious, let me do the talking.

Twirling the tips of her false moustache, beret worn stylishly over her left eye, Vivainne approach the check point.

Good Morning my good man, no need to point that blunderbuss at me, I was just passing and wondered if you need to buy any fresh vegetables or insurance?

Move along please Sir, this space is prohibited. Anyway, this is not a blunderbuss, it is the latest NP4, guaranteed to make you look tough, assault rifle and grenade launcher, with detachable laser sights that make people terrified when they see a red dot hovering on their chest, type gun.

Well, that is something special, said Vivainne, may I have a look?

The soldier passed his gun to Vivainne and she duely held them at gunpoint. They made their way passed the outer check points and into the heart of the Central Station. When they had disabled all the agressive types with duct tape or duck tape, Vivainne and the Sphinx entered the Control Room. A short man in glasses, wearing a White Coat, was making notes on a clipboard with a pencil and shaking his head.

Hello, said Vivainne, we’ve come the put the Earth back in whack.

I have been trying to do that since the industrial revolution, said the White Coat, be my guest.

Have you consulted the Troubleshooting section at the back of the Manual? It is often a good starting point. If that doesn’t work, there is bound to be a video on facetube, showing what to do.

Troubleshooting you say, sounds interesting says I. I was banking on my PHD in global warming to see me right, but Troubleshooting sounds promising.

They flicked through the massive World Manual. Passed chapters on Controlling Tectonic Plates and Reversing the Magnetic Field, until they came to the Troubleshooting section.

Finger pointing down the column marked Problems to the square containing, World over heating, finger pointing along the row under the heading Solutions.

In a rectangle.

First engage the safety valve and reduce temperature at core. Engage person in White Coat with PHD to reset the coefficients and re-calibrate the guiding principles.

Where is the safety valve? Asked Vivainne

Third on the right, just past the canteen.

Let us, said she Sphinx.