So and so, they came together with all the Hat design and Hat designs in the City of Azz. Convened at once in the great hall, where a fire had also been laid.
In that place, where the Blue Knight’s baby was welcomed and could walk about freely under the table, don’t go near the fire, they put the pieces of the Camel, a Hat designed by committee, together.
Vivainne and Constance, Sheba and Sphinx, plus the aforementioned Blue Knights, set out their designs upon the round table, no not that one.
Mass produced by experienced industrialists, with oodles of experience of exploiting fashionistas, it soon became the Hat of choice amongst teenagers, and brought more love to the world. Made of recycled wooden fragments scattered upon a base of felted materials in which spring flowers had been riven. Good. Its inner had a band for fitting and holes with metal rings to allow airy breezes to flow freely. The side was raised in salute and jaunty angle towards the sun. No veil hung beside the side screen, whilst the crown supported a crease or dimple for the collection of dewy residues. A small metal clip allowed for personalised additions, without piercing the fundamentals. After stripping away the safety tissue (recyclable) and reading the safety instructions in the multilingual manual, one might go online and register your purchase with the manufacturer to gain the benefits of the guarantees and after sales services, which includes vouchers against further purchases. Spare parts are available from reputable retailers and add-ons can be bought in bundles, should one want to take part in a procession or mass celebration.
After plugging in to a USB power point for at least 24 hours to charge the Lithium precious metal can’t be found anywhere for love nor money I-lion multi use rechargeable battery, which is housed into the it. Eventually, when fully charged, the blue and yellow lights will come on alternately for sixteen seconds before the warning tune is played. Pull the plastic tab out to engage the source. Reset to factory settings or choose settings from the ‘Customise’ menu, making sure not to override the ‘Danger of Death’ section. Always leave out in the sun, but never submerse in water for more than 24 hours. Set the time, time zone, latitude and longitude, date, temperature, and current political climate, using the up and down buttons, six times for yes or upwards and eighteen times for no or stay put. Scroll through the terms and conditions to find a little square box at the bottom left corner, click the box or you cannot put the Hat on. Lay out the numbered pieces on the floor, with someone to help in case you have a bad back, a list of tool requirements is attached but slightly hard to find and harder to read. You will need, A large hammer, three saws, a pin ball machine, a food mixer, six nails(clout), some wood glue, four of Allen’s keys (don’t forget to return them), a pack of cards, a house of cards, a card table, a piece of cardboard, a carding machine and a pencil and paper.
Page 1 Attach the base, C, to the circular riser, engaging the plastic lugs and pushing or hitting until a click or small bang is sensed with the ears. Turn it over, placing onto a soft surface to avoid scratching the expensive table, apply the strange shaped bolt type object, with one end the shape of a stooping eagle, into the outer holes, not the inner holes you fool, those come into play latter to stabilise the structure. Insert the circular round bits and turn them widdershins till a tightening of the internal organs is achieved. Take the screw fittings, left over from an earlier episode, and use them to fill the gaps. Turn the whole upright so the marble surface can be finished with a coat of wax or Danish oil rigs.
Page 2 Push the whole against the wall where it belongs and attach the sliding doors with the roller skates provided. Take it back to the shop and buy some sweet European cakes and a coffee. Go back to the end of the queue and chat with a stranger about methods of extracting teeth.
Page 3 Is Blank.
Page 4 The words are so small that the paragraphs just make a kind of esoteric pattern on the page.
Page 5 Where are my tools?
Page 6 Is it still raining?
Your hat is now ready to roll.
Preferably not to be worn in the house, or even anywhere with tight corners. Don’t go near electricity cables.
Unfortunately, the Camel Hats, being motored by lithium I-Lion power source, soon became outmoded and only solar and wind powered hats were fashionable or even legal.
The Guardians of the Cave 