Hard Hats

Constance and Vivainne are making search for Practical Hats in the darkness. The forest will not allow any light upon, and the Hats are hard to find. Hard Hats they are called because they will hide behind trees and are Hard to catch. Shy, frightened and demurring all contact with the outside world, they melt away in the darkness, favouring hidden corners and dense undergrowth.

We must set a Hat trap, speak Vivainne, within which will put a something that Hats cannot resist. Then the net will up into the air, scattering leaves, with the hat fretting within. We shall throw a cloth o’er it and the Hat will become calm, take it gently in our hands to sooth its worry and talk low Hat talk.

Or, continues Constance, or we could rush through the forests with great noise and shouting about. Then all Hats will rush about in a great panic, and surely one will bump into the main trunk of a dark tree, so that it is flipped upon its crown. It is known that hats, like some beetles and tortues, cannot right themselves once turned.

I thought that tortoises could right themselves using a stick, said Vivainne, otherwise you’d see them everywhere, unabled, about the place. Cluttering the public thoroughfare and annoying farmers.

A stick? They don’t have an opposable thumb. How could it work without some semblance of manipulative ability? Mayhap a manifestation of Archimedean principle perchance? Gaining leverage to move the world.

I don’t know, let’s just get on and make a Hat trap or a Hat rack, I’m beginning to rue the day.

They built a trap with a net and within a special Hat charm to attract, which they had purchased. It was automatic, so they could set their pavilions nearby and rest awhile the horse were drunk. They discussed many subjects, but no politics, as they agreed to differ.

In the night, which was only just darker than the day, they awoke to the sound of a something. Oh yes, I forgot, I was asleep, quick.

The trap is sprung, they say, so off to sea.

Its either an enormous Hat or some being entirely new, said Constance as they removed the outer carefully netting. Soon untangled, taking time, revealed a medium sized… thing

I have no words for this that we have netted, so to enable further talk, let’s designate. Thing A. At least it is wearing a hat, which may yet prove a bonus to our endeavours. And quite a hat as well.

So, Thing A, firstly are you OK? second and third, have always supported six eyes? and can you tell us the back story of your head gear? Asked Vivainne.

Hold a moment, said Constance, we must consider the reader here. I think we are bound to at least describe Thing A. Thus, to provide a visual clue to this whole scene. Otherwise, they will not engage and walk away, either physically or metaphorically.

Are the readers so fickle? Asked Vivainne, are they not loyal to a woman and man? Do we need to send them some free drawings to beg for their loyalty, go cap in hand for their affections.

You take it too far as usual. Just a simple description will drive the narrative.

Thing A, says Vivainne, has an neck, strong as a tree, and a sleek mane that falls about the shoulders. Eyes are ranged across its face not unlike she Sphinx. Her main body appears that of a leopard with spots arranged in groups. At the outset of her limbs come paws that morph at times into human hands, sometime into metal grippers. The haunches are made for great leaps of imagination and speed in the chase. Her tail is longer than that of the Sphinx (don’t tell she Sphinx) and is stripped across and across very prettily. Also as afore mentioned she support a hat, tres chic.

I still think that some free drawings for the readers might buy their loyalty, said Vivainne.

Don’t stoop, said Constance, only if they ask direct.

Shall I engage now, said Thing A, I have your answers at the ready.