If the Cat Fits

Whilst the Blue Knights (Man and Woman) and Pernil discussed the merits of wish ideas. The Holy Hat was still, and words continued to scroll, unnoticed, upon its hat band thing.

If someone had looked close, they might have read the following;

People are wearing many hats as they go, switching one hat for another through the days of life, for that is the nature and taste of each. I can name some hats if it may serve. The hat of the mother, the child hat (often woolly), the work hat (hard), the play hat (colourful), supporter hat, friend hat, father hat, many hats obviously, one for each role that a person must inhabit throughout time. Often two or more at the same.

I, scrolled the Holy Hat, am all Hats joined in one, thus to represent the summation of Hat in all categories.

If I am placed upon a head, then that person must be all the Hats, and that is why people swoon or burst into flames on receiving upon their heads, the Holy Hat.

I have tried to make up for this Hat-based carnage that I have caused, by inventing useful items that might aid the progress of the human race, upon whose brow I am destined to rest.

The Air fryer, the Runcible Spoon, the Pneumatic Tyre, the False Flag and the Abacus are just three examples of my inventions which have, to a lesser or morer degree, helped.

The Blue Knights (Man and Woman) and Pernil could be heard arguing about the amount of gold a horse could carry, how to fashion a horse basket in the wild and how far it could then travel. They ignored the Hat which continued to scroll.

I could, should someone ask me, invent faster than light travel, an everlasting light bulb, a perpetual motion machine or a new flavour of ice cream, instant toast, a super conductor that functions at room temperature, the list is endless, But oh no, it’s always gold this and diamonds that. If I could leave in a huff I would, but a dust cloud in the distance. Luckily, I can do this.

Of a sudden, a small doors open in the side of the recumbent hat either side of the scroll screen and tenuous wings extend out and begin to flap and whirr.  The Hat at first still, wobble and rise when the wings get going. Rising slowly to waist of a person height before the Blue Woman Knight, seeing the escape in progress, made rushing assault, running her sword through and pinioning to the floor, trapped.

Leave me fly, scrolled the Hat in Red Capitals, red as blood even, You are not worthy, it continued.

How can you know it, said the Blue woman Knight on reading, Have you then walked a mile in my Hat? seen what I have? felt the hindrance and fall back of woman to be, Have you known the hat of a mother with no, have called to someone alone in the dark?

The Hat did not at once rejoin, then in lower case with gaps scrolled, ”if the cat fits”.

The Blue Woman, head to one side, mentioned, What does you mean, I have never had cat upon my head, why would I?

It’s a saying, If the Cat fits, Wear it. Scrolled the hat.

How can a cat fit, I believe you have lost the plot and cannot be the Holy Hat no more. I relieve you of your duty. Relinquish the hatness of yourself and dissolve. I shall fashion a stop fire to recondition our lives and you shall be on it.

Smoke raised and dissolved.