The Don’tcare Professional was snowed under and weighed down by the snow, with a punishing workplate and a waiting list as long as the arm of a person with remarkably long arms.
I can’t do this anymore, she cried, I’m done, burnt up and out, exhaust fumes everwhere. I shall retire and become a beach comber; the beach’s hair is all over the place. I shall never work as a Don’tcarer again, even though I have just left college and I am still somewhat damp behind the ears.
No, they said to em, we need you, you must stay, we will pay, at great expense, for a Don’tcare Assistant to take the weight off and make your work experience more palatable, like a macaroon.
The unsuspecting Don’tcare Assistant was walking calmly down the lane when she was apprehended by a gang of Don’tcare Assistant nappers. Why are they called kid nappers? Do they only nap kids? Anyway, she outpaced them a bit until they said,
Take the Kings shilling, (equivalent to about 5p now, or 5.7 cents in euros) or things will not go well for you! Work, day and night, for the Don’tcare Professional. We will pay you a pittance or else!
Or else What? She inquired.
Or else the whole wobbly Health Care System will fail, and we will have to retreat towards the back of the cave to lick our wounds and hope for the best, instead of having a fully funded Health Care System, free at the point of delivery, because you have been paying for it through taxation all our lives.
Hmmm, said the Don’tcare Assistant, and that all depends on me? You make it all sound so attractive. But, as I have trained hard to become, and always felt the need to care for those in, I shall cometh with. I shall require extensive PPE and coffee breaks.
PPE said the nappers, is that Perfect Peppermint Elephants, we have plenty of those, or was it the Partly Purple Egrets that you were after?
I would be requiring Personal Protection Equipment.
Err no, we don’t have any of that I’m afraid. Can you make do with a wing and a prayer?
I’m not religious, said the Don’tcare Assistant, I always put my faith in science, empiricism and hard work.
I see, said the powers that, well I’m afraid you’ll just have to get on with it while we are busy, we have a very important meeting with our image consultant, and we can’t be late. Goodbye.
The Don’tcare Professional and the Don’tcare Assistant, using partly purple egrets to protect themselves from virulent bacterial badness, looked after everyone to the best of. When they had worked 750 hours straight, they were declared saints and had statues put in their honour, but they still felt tired and disappointed.
When all the people, who were very patient, had been tested on their knowledge of the Poet Ovid, (other poets are available), it was found that the Partly Purple Egrets had been of no protection at all, just as the muffled voices of the experts had predict. It transpired that, not only did wearing a gaudy egret on your head have a very limited effect, but that people laughed at you. Later, when the dusty clouds had settled, it transpired that the king of the govern owned the purple egret manufacturing co. Who would have guessed.
The Don’tcare Assistant told the grims as they rested by the side of the path under a shade.
I have come and I will go all the way to the Fortuitous Fountain to ask if it is the end for the NHS or if the Nice Happy System has a future.
I’m all in favour of a Nice Happy System, said the Sphinx, upon hearing the Tale told, Why is it in peril?
Oh, the rich and richer don’t need it, said Sheba, they seem to have the empathy of an angry varmint.
Are varmints known for their lack of empathy?
Yes, it has been well documented.
Oh.
The Guardians of the Cave 